Zebra Donkey is another episode based on life experience.
In seventh grade, the most popular class was Life Science. The room was full of cool animals like snakes, lizards, hamsters and guinea pigs, but the most popular by far was the tarantula. Guys would put it on their biceps - pose for yearbook pictures with it. Girls would let it nest in their hair, or try to find its spider lips and kiss it.
Because there was only one spider and several hundred seventh graders, love time with the tarantula was in very short supply - so it was rationed out by the teacher - bestowed as a high honor upon the highest quiz score recipients.
This made most kids study like crazy. But for me, hating spiders, it had just the opposite effect.
Life Science was my favorite class - but I made sure to get at least one wrong answer on every quiz so I wouldn't have to hold the hairy monster.
At the end of the year party I thought I was in the clear. But the teacher, an equitable and just woman, had been keeping track of the spider love time, and noticed I hadn't had any. To my horror she made a big deal in front of the whole class about righting this injustice, and before I knew it, the beast was on top of my hand.
It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. And to be honest, I kind of enjoyed basking in the reflected glow of the spider's celebrety.
But then disaster. Right then and there- in front of the whole class, the spider did something it had never done before - it bit. It must have known I secretly hated it, and out of pure malace it gave me a chomp. It hurt like ten bee stings all in the same spot. I flinched. The spider fell.
Later that day word went out the the student body that the tarantula had passed away. The campus mourned.
Needles to say, the last four hours of the school day represent an all time low for my popularity.
People refused to acknowledge that I had been bit, and eventually the story was twisted to the point of me spiking the thing like a football.
Lucky for me summer is long, and kids forget. I replaced the spider, and to this day I go well out of my way to be nice to spiders - because - even though I've forgotten most of what I learned in that class, one thing stuck with me. Spiders have thousands of childern - and one day, one of them may come looking for revenge.
